#Goodbye letter to my addiction free#

I decided to listen to the voice inside me, to break free from our relationship and find happiness. The choice was clear, I chose life over you - sobriety over suicide.

If I had stayed with you, I would have taken my life I needed to leave you to survive.įinally, I’m at peace, away from your abusive tendencies. But now it was my time to run away from you. The lies and deceit came crashing down as I realised how you’d brainwashed me for two decades while I happily let you take the lead. This time a different voice whispered from deeper within, an untainted place in my heart.įinally, I could see what you’d done to me. Back then, I thought that only my death would remove your power over me. When I was at my lowest point, I believed suicide was the answer to remove all the hurt I’ve been harbouring - a way to escape from this life we created. My body had been poisoned, and my mind had become shrouded in darkness. You broke me down throughout my adult life, leaving me physically and emotionally corrupted. Until you left me a broken, suicidal mess.Īs is always the case with toxic relationships, I appeared to be fine on the outside, but inside you were slowly eating away at my soul. You lied once again, just like you did every single day. Another memory stolen, another promise broken. I’d happily drink the night away, and you’d leave me to rot. You’d whisper in my ear your sweet voice would lure me in. Every day was a fresh start, a new morning to restart our glorious relationship. I forgave and forgot, and I came crawling back. You were my biggest downfall, a thorn in my side, an abusive partner that I no longer need in life. Broken hearts and broken bones, criminal records and broken homes.

From my teenage years through to my thirties, from England to New Zealand and all the places in-between. You were with me through thick and thin, the good times and the bad times. It’s as if I’m breaking up with a long term partner. This has to be the most challenging letter I’ve ever written. I’m no longer lost now I’ve removed you from my life - Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash